CLSNA' LamontCentral Forum

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Chatbox
Please log in to join the chat!
CLSNA' LamontCentral Forum -> Cowal Tavern -> Kilt jokes or have you heard a good one lately
Post Info TOPIC: Kilt jokes or have you heard a good one lately
Drac


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 335
Date:
Kilt jokes or have you heard a good one lately
Permalink  
 

Keep them coming from where ever you find them -

From Freedom Kilts website -

What is worn under your kilt?
1. Why, shoes and socks, of course.
2. Why nothing is worn under my kilt. Everything under there is in perfect working order.
3. If you were a Lady you wouldn't ask. If you're not a Lady, you'll find out for yourself.
4. Lipstick.
5. Are you sure you want me to answer that question?
6. Nothing more than what God graced me with.
7. How warm are your hands?
8. Ah, well, can you see how long I wear my kilt?
9. Perhaps you should ask my Wife.
10.If I asked you the same question Maam, I could be arrested. What is the difference?

Jim



__________________
Drac


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 335
Date:
Permalink  
 

A Scotsman had been stranded on a deserted island for 10 years when he looked out and saw a boat on the horizon. He waves at them and sees a figure jump into the water and swim toward him.

After a few minutes a beautiful woman in a wet suit rises out of the water and walks toward him.

“When is the last time you had a cigar?” she asks him.

“Ten years” he answers.

She unzips a pocket on her sleeve and removes a cigar and lighter. She lights it for him and hands it over.

“That’s fine” as he takes a puff.

“When is the last time you had a sip of scotch?” she asks.

“Ten years” he answers.

She unzips a pocket on her other sleeve and removes a flask. She hands it over to him.

“That’s truly beautiful” as he drinks from the flask.

She unzips the front of her suit about half way down and looks him straight in the eyes.

“When was the last time you played around?” she purrs.

“Don’t tell me you have a set of clubs in there?!?!”


__________________
Drac


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 335
Date:
Permalink  
 

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment.

__________________
Coinneach


Past President - CLSNA

Status: Offline
Posts: 45
Date:
Permalink  
 

I have a saying that I use on occasion:

"It depends on the weather"

__________________

Kenneth Luckey

Past President
Clan Lamont Society of NA

Coinneach Luc
morris


Regional Vice President - NE CLSNA

Status: Offline
Posts: 81
Date:
Permalink  
 

What does a Calvinist say when they fall down a flight of stairs?

 

Glad I got that out of the way.

__________________
Morris Lamont CLSNA
Michigan state commissioner 
lamontofmichigan@yahoo.com
Drac


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 335
Date:
Permalink  
 

How to know a kilt -

If is above the knee it's a skirt.

If it's at the knee it's a kilt.

If it's below the knee he's a liar.



__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
CLSNA' LamontCentral Forum -> Cowal Tavern -> Kilt jokes or have you heard a good one lately
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us